Padres’ Khalil Greene Taken Out By Storage Chest

Khalil Greene belongs to the Baha’i Faith, a religious group that preaches oneness, tolerance and world peace. Except, apparently, when it comes to tolerance of storage chests. Oh, how the Baha’i hate storage chests, and would love nothing more than to wipe them off the face of the Earth.

San Diego Padres SS Khalil Greene

That last part I made up, but you wouldn’t know it by the beatdown Greene gave a storage chest at Petco Park on Wednesday night - specifically, a left hook that left him with a fractured hand that will likely cause him to miss the rest of the season. The storage chest is said to be “bruised, but otherwise unharmed.”

For his part, Greene seemed to be properly embarrassed about the whole incident, saying that to do that for him is “certainly not commonplace.” Also not commonplace this season: hitting the ball. Greene is batting just .213 this season, and decided to go Antonio Margarito on the storage shed after striking out for the 100th time this year.

At least the Padres have a good option to back him up: Luis Rodriguez, who is hitting a robust .161 this season and is considered to be more of a second baseman than a shortstop by the team.

At least Greene can take comfort in knowing that he didn’t suffer the most bizarre anger-related injury this season: that honor still belongs to Troy Tulowitzki. And Khalil can also take comfort in the fact that the people of San Diego can stop living in fear of a rogue storage chest breaking into their houses in the middle of the night and … you know … store their stuff.