Pacman Thinks That Everything Is ESPN’s Fault

As The Duke was so kind to inform us all of this morning in the Speed Read, Adam “Pacman” Jones was cut by the Dallas Cowboys yesterday after a story on ESPN talked about his supposed involvement in a shooting outside an suburban Atlanta strip club back in June 2007.

According to the story, while no charges were ever filed against Pacman or anybody else for the shooting, an informant told police that it had been ordered by Jones. Apparently he’d been in some kind of altercation with one of the men that was shot at. Well, as you can easily figure out, Pacman isn’t exactly thrilled with ESPN right now for running the story that cost him his job. So now he needs to find a new way to make money to pay for all these lawyers to keep him out of prison, and the only way to do that would be to sue ESPN.

From THE DALLAS MORNING NEWS:

Adam Jones is denying an ESPN report that he arranged for someone to shoot at three men outside a Atlanta night club.

In fact an angry Jones said he’s planning legal action against the network.

“It will be a lawsuit in a week against ESPN,” Jones said. “That’s stupid. It’s so stupid I have no more comments.”

Actually, Adam, what’s stupid is blaming ESPN for reporting on things you did. After all, it’s not like it was ESPN shooting up strip clubs, it was you. Still, I do like Pacman’s idea even if his motivation behind it is idiotic.

We should all sue ESPN for the things they do to us. Day after day, they subject us to people like Skip Bayless, Stephen A. Smith, Jay Mariotti, and a whole cornucopia of idiots. Think of the mental anguish you’ve suffered through having to watch and listen to these people as they appear on the network. I mean, who has suffered some sort of hearing loss after listening to Dick Vitale scream for two hours during a Duke basketball game?

Shouldn’t you receive compensation for the pain and misery the network has caused you?  We can no longer sit around and let these monsters terrorize us and our families, and I think it’s time we all filed a class-action suit against the network.

Who’s with me?

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