Chicagoans have a long history of crappy athlete raps. Okay, just the one, but it’s a trend setter:

[youtube:http://youtube.com/watch?v=fJNC3dgreaU]

Therefore, we shamefully include the following in the Chicago Sports Craptastic Pantheon: a car commercial with rapping managers/former athletes. Take it far far away, Lou Piniella and Ozzie Guillen:

(Our thanks to AWFUL ANNOUNCING for the legwork; we couldn’t stop convulsing after we saw it yesterday during the broadcast and were unable to capture it ourselves. We were shakier than José Contreras with the wind blowing out.)And, yes, Fallout Boy “performed” the seventh inning stretch Saturday at Wrigley, following Tony Romo earlier in the year. We become more concerned with each passing 4-2 week that our Cubs fandom will become threatened by Red Sox-level chicanery, making the Cubs’ 2008 into the Red Sox’s 2004.

So if you see us outside Wrigley tomorrow waving pH strips in the air, we are waving them as if we do care; we’re checking the douche level. Let’s keep it pH-balanced out there, Cubs fans.