Professional athletes lead different lives than the rest of us. They travel incessantly and don’t see their families for weeks at a stretch. Strangers ask them to sign scraps of paper and hold their babies for a round of pictures. Their careers end before they turn 40, leaving them ill-prepared for a world that doesn’t need a left-handed ball hurler.

And, if the Baltimore Orioles are any measure, someone’s constantly shoving guns in their faces, forcing many of them to carry concealed weapons most anywhere that doesn’t require a uniform with stirrups.

Right fielder Nick Markakis remembered an incident years ago when an armed person tried to carjack him in a gas station in Georgia. Right fielder Luke Scott related a similar relationship to the business end of a firearm at a party in Delray Beach, FL, while he attended school there. (Right field’s a dangerous job, apparently.)

This has led to multiple Oriole players to admit carrying a concealed weapon while off the field, including Scott and reliever Jamie Walker. Others, including Markakis, spoke about their extensive gun collections. All emphasized their Second Amendment rights to not have their faces shot off by the next guy.

A quick recommendation, then: William Ligue, Jr., why don’t you skip visiting US Cellular Field on the weekend of April 25th when the Orioles in town? Maybe take in a nice family film with your son or just stay at home. You might think you’re bulletproof when you’re drunk, but taking on the Baltimore Orioles would be one helluva way to confirm it.