Oprah’s army doesn’t get many opportunities to see their goddess in pant suits in the flesh.  The only tickets harder to get for TV performances in Chicago history have been filmings of “The Bozo Show” and the Dirty Hippie section of Chicago Stadium for the 1968 Democratic Convention.

(Huge sports fan.  See?)

When Oprah announced she would fete dozens of American Olympians (with the best marketing deals, sob stories, and medal collections) on Wednesday in Chicago’s Millennium Park, the legion of Oprahlytes descended on the park Saturday for the chance at free tickets.

They shamed Krzyzewskiville with their power and organization.  The line stretched for six full city blocks and could have gone more.  Just wait ’till they mob the park Wednesday for an estimated 2,000 lawn seats.  Make that 8,000 when stacked like cordwood.

Was there any chance anyone in line was there for the shot to see the assembled athletic greatness of these United States?  Let’s ask someone in line…

“Oprah shattered the glass ceiling for women.  She’s shown a woman can run companies, can lead philanthropic organizations, can do really anything.”

Or a cult.  She could run a cult.

We’re sure this “welcome home celebration” isn’t intended in the slightest to influence IOC officials in their 2016 selection or to imply that the Might of Oprah might have had anything to do with it.  Just about the love for young hot athletes and their sponsors.  You know, the purity that the IOC insists on.