Oh God, Not More Home Run Celebration Shows

For the record, the Milwaukee Brewers don’t play the San Francisco Giants again until next season, probably sometime in May. That’s when we’ll find out if Matt Cain offers a gentle high-and-tight message to Prince Fielder for the little show we see in the photo below.

Prince Fielder

Also for the record, the San Diego Padres are feverishly working on their own choreographed home run celebration performance art. This is all hypothetical of course, because in order to do it, your team actually has to hit a home run. But the Padres have a couple of routines in the can just in case. You’re not going to believe what they are.

From USA TODAY:

The San Diego Padres have toyed with the idea of the home run hitter throwing his helmet onto the plate like a grenade, with his awaiting teammates “exploding” away.

But here’s my favorite. Tony Gwynn told the LOS ANGELES TIMES that the Padres are planning a home run celebration in which someone throws the hitter’s batting helmet into the air, and other players jump and slam dunk it onto the plate like a basketball in a hoop.

Oh, that should go over big at Dodger Stadium. I’ll reserve further judgment on that one until I’ve heard from Henry Abbott.

And the Yankees now have a thing — most recently seen after Nick Swisher’s game-winning homer beat the Rays on Tuesday — where the hero tosses his helmet in the air at the plate, and his teammates fight for it like women after a bridal bouquet.

But there’s something ominous just around the corner, I can feel it. The Angels’ Torii Hunter, on Fielder’s show against the Giants:

“If I was a pitcher, I’d be [ticked] off,” he said. “My mouth would be wide open. I’d be shocked. Baseball is not like the NFL, where you can celebrate in the end zone. You’ve got to keep your cool, play the game. You can’t do that.

“It’s a little strong for baseball, because you could have a 90-mph fastball coming at you the next day. You’ve got to have toughness and heart to do that. It’s not for me. If someone did that against us and we played them again, trust me, he’d get crushed, and we’d try to fight him.”

Elaborate home plate celebrations … wadyah think?

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