Ochocinco Twittering About Looming NFL Lockout

As you might recall, there’s a labor stoppage looming on the NFL’s horizon; without a new deal, the salary cap disappears in 2010, then play stops for 2011 and all hell breaks loose. Bad times, especially for the players. To that end, apparently, the NFLPA is taking today to meet with players about the lockout and to discuss the union’s strategy for attacking the possibility of a lockout.

Ochocinco Twitter Cap Lockout
(What? No way. Seriously, no way, right.)

What the NFLPA perhaps should not have done is invite notorious Tweetmonster Chad Ochocinco, who couldn’t get “be quiet” right if it were Wheel of Fortune and you spotted him the B, E, Q, and T. So naturally, Ocho kept his phone off during the proceedings and of course we’re lying, he’s been giving his followers updates the entire time. Oh, and just to prove that he’s reliable, he also claimed to get cut from the Bengals in the middle of the thing, so… your guess is as good as ours, really.

First, from Ochocinco’s Twitter feed, the details of an insidious conspiracy that we really hope isn’t true, because it would be outlandishly stupid for DirecTV to agree to:

Owners haven’t agreed to the Collective Bargaining Agreement, the same person who helped with the lockout in hockey(Bob Batterman)now NFL!!!

25% percent of our salaries need to be saved this year and next year, this will happen, they are sure players will break because of needs!

Television revenue is what feeds us,4.5 billion a year=each team gets 30 million whether we play or not,clause was put in the deal by owners

Owners get paid regardless whether we play or not through direct tv deal4.5 billion a year=each owner gets 30mill and no salaries to pay!!

Okay, that should be alarming to the players, especially the part about saving their money (which they really ought to be doing to begin with); as we’ve discussed here repeatedly, money doesn’t really get saved by young professional athletes very often, so even if the league were to go on in 2012, it’s important that these guys get a nest egg saved up anyway.

That all said, we hope somebody checks up on whether Ocho’s right that the owners can collect on a 10-figure deal with DirecTV without a single subscription coming in for that season. Unless there’s a clause that says the NFL’s entitled to the money in every instance - even without a season going on - then the DirecTV lawyers are going to fight like cornered bobcats on cocaine to keep the NFL’s fingers out of that cookie jar. There’s no way that’s the NFL owners’ actual plan, right? That can’t possibly work.

Then things got weird, because this is Ocho and things get weird with him. In the middle of his discussion, this bombshell which we, as sane adults, absolutely cannot take at face value:

Damn I just got cut!!! WTF!!!

Oh well, damn I was looking forward to playing against Baltimore, they shut the front door on me!!!!

Like, we get what he’s saying, that the Bengals just cut him (we don’t think he’s talking about getting shanked here). Further, he’s been trying to push “shut the front door” as a palatable alternative to the long version of “STFU” today, so maybe he’s just trying to use it in a sentence without actually thinking about what happens if he uses that sentence out loud.

Or maybe there’s absolutely no sense in trying to decipher what’s going on in that man’s brain, because he’s clearly wired different than you or I. That’s not necessarily a bad thing - the world needs eccentrics, and he’s hardly a bad guy at heart - but what the hell, man?