Obama Solves Economy Through Football Playoff

President-Elect Barack Obama sticks by his promises, no matter how difficult.  He proved he knew the hearts of middle America when he told Chris Berman on Monday Night Football just before the election that he would push for a college football playoff system.  No, it’s not what everyone wants, but he knew how to start a good sports argument, which everybody loves.

Barack Obama holds football

However, like everything associated with Chris Berman, no one believed it was a serious pursuit. And yet he will repeat the same demand for a college football playoff system on “60 Minutes” tonight.  He already has the job, so he doesn’t have to say it to win votes.  So now we have to wonder… just what the hell are you thinking, Mr. President-Elect?

Look, it’s one thing to take on world leaders and political heavyweights and organized crime and entrenched bureaucracies, but why on Earth do you think you can take the men in the ugly blazers?  Those magnificent bastards could survive a nuclear holocaust and still have Jerry the cockroach be the grand marshal of their bowl parade.

Also, why take on such a daunting task so early?  Why not tackle something easier, like health care or terrorism?  We can suffer through another Arby’s Sliced Meat By-Product Bowl for at least one more year.

(But not two.  Hurry!)

4 comments

  1. GravatarMatt Sussman
    1:11 pm on November 16th, 2008

    Doesn't he have better things to fix? After all, politicians are only able to do fix thing at a time, nothing more.

  2. GravatarTuffy
    1:17 pm on November 16th, 2008

    Like, say, the new Presidential pooch.

  3. GravatarDunder Mifflin Security Guard
    3:16 pm on November 16th, 2008

    I miss the Poulan Weed Eater Independence Bowl.

  4. GravatarBrad James
    4:49 pm on November 17th, 2008

    Obama,

    I will never agree with the majority of your platforms but I will have respect for you if you bring a playoff to pass. On other matters, we'll agree to disagree.

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