Buying Yankees Tix Just To Watch Game On TV?

Yes, the New York Yankees’ owners have taken over a billion dollars of taxpayer money (warning: PDF) in one form or another to fund their new personal playpen.  Yes, the Yankees have taken their season ticket holders from old Yankee Stadium behind the woodshed and explained in so many words that they have purty mouths and how much it would please them if they could just squeal in a porcine fashion.

New York Yankees fans

(How Yankees fans see themselves)

Still, they didn’t double (or worse) all the ticket prices while shrinking capacity to create demand.  In fact, a small handful of tickets will go for $12 for each home game.  Of course, that just allows people to watch most of the game on televisions embedded into the walls because they’re obstructed-view.  But hey… game experience, baby!

How could they possibly lower the prices on those tickets?  We suspect it’s because they’re so far away that they actually sit in international waters.  Brooks heard a Montserrat vessel fired on a hot dog vendor during a dry run earlier today, but that’s not the least of your problems if you sit out there.  We hear you don’t have to wait until interleague play to see pirates.

How Yankees owners see New York Yankees fans

(How Yankees owners see Yankees fans)

(Hope you’re loving this Borscht belt humor, Yankees fans, because the remaining $12 seats are in the Catskills.  The concession stand is lousy out there in Rochester… and such small portions! HA!)

So after all this affection for the general public (and the collapse of the world economy) has led the new Yankee Stadium to still have over 30% of its 2009 home game “premium seating” (read: it’s better if you don’t ask how much) inventory available, is there any chance of the Yankees lowering their ticket prices, Yankees COO Lonn Trost?

“Our prices are our prices.”

You usin’ the whole fist there, Hank?

If we had to wager, we’d bet the Yankees are cutting deals as we speak, but they’ll be damned if they’ll admit failure in the sales department or cheapen their “premium” seats ($350-$2,500, since you asked) by putting them on sale.

Once they do that, deflation kicks in and Yankees fans wait until the price drops again. Instead, salespeople are working the lines right now with amenities like access to that new steakhouse in center field causing much of the obstructed views for bleacherites or free parking or what not.

Now that’s if you’re a premium ticket buyer, of course.  If you’re just a poor schlub wanting to pour your last few entertainment dollars into your favorite pastime, you’d be better off following the Yankees’ lead and installing a new TV into your wall.

This solution is multi-purpose, has obstructed views only if your family won’t move out of the way, and you can maybe get the government to buy it for you.  When you send the bill to the New York State Assembly, just attach a note letting them know your home entertainment system is shovel-ready.