Nuns Buy Soccer Team, Are First Non-Evil Owners

Although it’s not really the point of joining a convent, it must be tough to make money as a nun. Sally Field’s stunt double. Whoopi Goldberg’s backup singer. Sports team owner?

Soccer Nun

A group of Benedictine nuns from a convent in a seaside town in Croatia have purchased shares in one of the oldest and most popular clubs in Croatia’s top soccer league. They own about $4,500 worth of Hajduk Split, which is somehow good enough to put them among the top 20 shareholders of the recently privatized team.

Which team in need of a prayer should these Croatian nuns buy next?

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If you thought American tabloid papers were ruthless, you clearly aren’t a subscriber to the VERCERNJI LIST, which sent a reporter out to the convent to grill the nuns on their new investment.

She said: “Yes, that’s true. Our Mother Superior Sister Anastasia told us that we were Hajduk shareholders, but I cannot say anything more. You can speak with our lawyer about that. He knows everything and has even told us to pray for Hajduk.”

They have a lawyer! And they pray for who he tells them to!

Sister Anselma also said that sisters of her order did not know much about football but were basketball fans.

Maybe they should have prayed a little harder for Dražen Petrović.

Here’s the best part - the reporter asked the nun to pose for a picture in a Hajduk strip, which is the skintight jersey worn by cyclists. She “politely refused,” but if that picture existed, I guarantee you this would be the highest-trafficked post of all time.