Nowitzki’s “Pregnant” Ex-Fiancee Is Not Pregnant

One of the stranger aspects of the Dirk Nowitzki/Cristal Taylor saga - aside from the fact that she was engaged to an NBA player until he ran a background check on her and found more red flags than Tienanmen Square - has been the media’s willingness to accept her claims, even as she’s being held on suspicion of fraud.

Dirk Nowitzki, Cristal Taylor
(Smile, Dirk! But not like that, please. Never like that.)

So when, for example, Taylor claimed to be pregnant, there were plenty of tuts and moans to go around when Nowitzki essentially washed his hands of her. See the POST, HUFFINGTON, for example. The actual foolish behavior, though, would be having taken Taylor at her word.

According to the DALLAS MORNING NEWS, Nowitzki’s lawyers have confirmed that his ex-fiancee is, in fact, not heavy with child:

Dirk Nowitzki’s former fiancée Cristal Taylor is not pregnant, according to prison medical records released Thursday to Nowitzki’s attorney, Robert Hart.

Hart said he received written confirmation from the correctional medical services department in Vandalia, Mo.

“As we suspected, we did not believe her story,” Hart said. “We received written confirmation that she is not pregnant from the department of corrections medical accountability records system.”

Here now, this is more appropriate than any moment in history:

The best part of that clip? Oh, absolutely him dancing the wheelchair off the stage. Like white guys can’t move their asses too.

But we digress. Even the judicial system in Texas - yes, that bastion of lenience and feel-goodery - couldn’t help but drop some cold-hearted s**t on Taylor at the time:

On July 24, Dallas family court Associate judge Randall Grubbs had ordered pregnancy and DNA testing in the Taylor-Nowitzki case, saying “We know the first one has to happen. The other one may be moot.”

Oh, damn. And before you complain about unfairness on the judge’s part, well… it was moot. No aspect of his behavior was going to change that either way.

As for Dirk, now that this mess is behind him, he–oh, hell, we’re just going to post that video again, whatever:


JIGSAW!