Now Come On, Rugby; Let’s Do the Testicle Twist

As spotted quite bravely by 100% Injury Rate at FANIQ with a minimum of whimpering and vomiting, the Cronulla-Sutherland Sharks’ Paul Gallen made a grab for glory last weekend when he got into the shorts of the man he was guarding, Josh Graham, and squeezed down hard on his defense.

Also, Gallen squashed Graham’s testicles with his hand.

You usin' the whole palm there, Doc?

(You usin’ the whole palm there, Doc?)

Gallen claims no such event that you can perfectly see above ever happened and that it must have simply been an errant extremity wandering on its own as limbs often do for world-class athletes. So why wasn’t Gallen punished remotely like Graham was? According to the review committee head: “We had a good look at it but couldn’t find any squeeze or grab.” That’s a lousy video by any measure. Our handsy friend already faces a four-match ban for a previous violent act where he raked his fingers across another player’s face to try to reopen his stitches. It’s hard to imagine his rugby mates approve of Gallen’s recent actions. After all, there’s a code among men in rugby. Apparently for Gallen, it’s more like a penal code.

Leave a Reply