Notre Dame Bringing Football To Yankee Stadium?

Name a particularly loathsome baseball franchise. Go ahead, do it, we can hear you. All right, it looks like 75% of you said the Yankees, and the rest said… well, for some reason, the rest said Notre Dame football, even though we specifically said baseball.

Yankees Jesus
(Home Run Jesus strikes again.)

So why bring up the two most hateworthy teams in all of sport? Because of the impending unholy alliance that threatens the fabric of the universe, of course! It turns out Notre Dame wants to be the first college football team to christen the new Yankee Stadium, according to reports from the NEW YORK TIMES. If you oppose this idea, as nearly all of you do, then surprise! You clearly hate America.

That’s because Notre Dame already has a year and opponent picked out: 2013 and our good friends in the military, the Army Golden Knights:

[Notre Dame AD Jack] Swarbrick said Notre Dame’s 35-13 victory against Army at West Point in 1913 is considered the most important in the program’s history. He said he was trying to plan significant anniversary games and would love to have the 100th anniversary of that game played at Yankee Stadium.

Oh, well if it’s so steeped in history and on such an important anniversary, who are we to… I’m sorry, Mr. Swarbrick, there’s more?

But Swarbrick said the Yankees may want college football at the Stadium before 2013, and if that is the case, he would like the Irish to be part of the debut.

Therrrre we go. That’s the self-aggrandizing dinosaur of a football program we all know and love, basically calling “dibs” on playing a game at a baseball stadium that’s 700 miles away from campus.

We’re not sure dibs are legally binding, of course, especially considering the precedent set by Keepers v. Weepers in Supreme Kindergarten Court. But we also can’t think of another college football team so possessed by narcissism and a false sense of superiority that they look at the new Yankees Stadium and think, “Perfect!”