Nobody Beats The George Steinbrenner Warriors

Throughout most of the country our schools are named after important people in history like Presidents and generals with a poet or writer thrown in here and there for good measure. If not a person, then the school is usually named after the town it’s in or the township. Well, it’s like that in 49 of the 50 states anyway. Florida, it seems, would rather name their schools after sports figures.

We learned about some Florida schools that were going to be named after Dwyane Wade until he became a sex partyin‘, STD-givin‘ machine who didn’t live up to his end of the bargain. And now today we learn there’s a high school in Tampa named after New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner. Well, you can’t have a high school named after a sports figure without sports teams, and those teams need a mascot, but what exactly do you pick as your mascot when your name is Steinbrenner? The Yankees? The Disgustingly Rich? No, you name yourself the Warriors.


Steinbrenner High principal Brenda Grasso confirmed that a vote of students has determined the mascot will be the Warriors, and the colors will be navy and gold.

Those hoping the school, which opens in August, would be Yankees, sorry. Grasso said the name was not among the final three in voting. Grasso will solicit student designs for a logo, which she hopes to have polished off by a professional designer in coming weeks.

Well I’m not graphic design major or anything, but I don’t think it’s going to be very hard to come up with a logo for Steinbrenner High. There should probably be an “S” in there for Steinbrenner, so may I suggest this logo?

I think it captures the essence of the school’s namesake quite well.

As for choosing Warriors as the mascot, I’m not sure how that relates to George Steinbrenner. I would have gone with the Steinbrenner Green or something of that nature.

Of course, this also presents us with the opportunity to think of some other mascots for schools that are named after other owners. Like the Mark Cuban High Annoying Loudmouths, or the Donald Sterling High Cheapskates. And who would want to have an Academic Bowl match against the Peter Angelos High Franchise-Wreckers? Not me, that’s for sure.