No One Ever Leaves the Buccaneers, Son. Ever.

“Hey, I’m glad to see you, too, though I don’t know why we’re meeting on this abandoned stretch of road. Anyway, it’s been a long time since I saw you. Two years since I signed with the Bears. Can you believe that? Still, I think I’ve got a good shot at the starting job this year; who’s really taking Rex Grossman or Kyle Orton seriously? I expect to be starting by…”

A scene from The Bucs

“Yeah, that’s what I called you down here for, Brian. I know it’s been awhile since we’ve seen ‘Griese‘ in pewter. I don’t know what you thought were pulling by signing a five-year contract with the Bears a couple years ago, but we just traded for you. You’re coming home. You see, no one ever leaves the Bucs, son.”

“What… what do you mean? No, I’m a Bear now. I’m going to compete to be the starting quarterback. I went to a Super Bowl!”

“No, son… see this briefcase? In here, I’ve got incriminating video of you actually playing organized football. If you don’t come to Tampa, we’ll show this to everyone in the league and you’ll have to go back to working for your dad at the Bob Griese Foundation to Support My Kids Who Are Incredibly Mediocre at Football.”

“Wait… what? No one ever leaves the Bucs?”

“No one. Remember Warrick Dunn? He was on this same stretch of road Monday, visiting us just like you. He’ll be back. You’ll see. And remember Mike Alstott? Hell, Mike Alstott’s lucky if he remembers Mike Alstott these days, what with all those concussions. We had a black tie dinner for him Saturday. He’s ‘retired’, but he’s not going anywhere.”

“… I see.”

“Now go home and make love to your wife for the last time as a man with a shot at being a starting quarterback in the National Football League. I need to make a call to Steve DeBerg’s house.”

A scene from The Bucs

Leave a Reply