Nigerian Man U Fan Drives Bus Into Barca Crowd

Respected journals of anthropology like SPORTSbyBROOKS have long chronicled the behaviour of soccer fans in the wild, for science. SbB’s crack team of scientists traveled the globe to document the fascinating rioting habits of the Irish fan, the Romanian fan, and the Russian fan. We even received data from our South American research station on the rioting habits of the Chilean fan. Amazingly, however, we had heretofore gathered no empirical data on record regarding the rioting behaviours of the elusive African fan.

Carnage!

(Not pictured: Bus plunge.)

But that changed today, and the annals of science are richer for it. A bus-driving Nigerian Manchester United fan chanced upon a group of Barcelona fans celebrating their team’s victory in the UEFA Champions League Final and he did what any self-respecting soccer fan would do in the same situation around the world: He ran them over. Gouranga!

There are thankfully no pictures of the disaster, but REUTERS’ intrepid Nigerian bureau (via the scientific news network ESPN) put forth some details, for science:

A Manchester United fan in Nigeria killed four people when he drove his minibus into a crowd of Barcelona supporters after his team lost the Champions League final, police said on Thursday. The crowd in the town of Ogbo were celebrating Barcelona’s victory after Wednesday night’s match when the bus drove into them. A police spokeswoman said 10 people were injured and the driver was arrested.

No word on how the bus fared, but we assume the driver at least got triple-score for the feat. Actually, no, it’s awful that people would actually go to such lengths over any game, let alone a soccer match. It’s only a game, folks, it’s only a game. Nothing that anyone ever does on a field or court warrants the loss of life by anyone, especially innocent bystanders.

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