REPORT - NFL NETWORK SPAMMING FANS INTO STONE AGE: Since the cable channel’s inception, NFL Network has come up empty when trying to elbow it’s way onto most basic cable services. Now the NEW YORK POST reports on the NFL’s latest technique to try to attain basic cable status: Spam you into the stone age.

The NYP notes the league “is in the middle of a mass e-mail campaign” to get fans to help urge Time Warner Cable, Cablevision and other cable providers to “offer the channel as part of basic service.”

NFL network is creating and sending 24 million unsolicited emails out to “fans” to ask them to contact the FCC, state representatives “and even their governor.”

Yes! Thanks to spam emails, we now are about to close out the final of our three life goals:
#1: A horse-sized penis
#2: MY SAMS CLUB GIFT CARD
#3: The wit and wisdom of Rich Eisen in our living room for free!

Seriously, the NFL is picking up the quality of the product, by offering the Colts vs. Falcons on Thanksgiving Night. But that will likely do more to alienate fans who can’t access the channel than encourage cable companies to change the network’s cable service status.