Jason Kidd finally found a way to stir up some buzz about his forever .500 New Jersey Nets, by growing whatever this is under his nose:

ESPN, to its credit, finally broke something first, by hammering Kidd immediately for his follicular folly. We ourselves really don’t know how to describe the mustache, but if the Lawry’s seasoned salt company was ever to cast a pencil-thin mustachioed chef in a commercial, we think you could throw a poofy lid on Kidd and you’d be in business.

While plenty of other media outlets have since mentioned Kidd’s questionable grooming habits, the AMERICAN MUSTACHE INSTITUTE has the last word on the subject, by *angrily lashing out* at the press this week over the coverage.

Excerpt: “It has come to the attention of the AMI, an advocacy organization fighting discrimination against mustached Americans, that Jason Kidd’s new and rather delicious mustache has come under the scrutiny of ESPN, as well as Jason’s oft-injured and folicly deprived teammate Vince Carter.”

“AMI continues to battle negative stereotyping that has accompanied the mustache since those glory years of the 1970s - fighting to create a climate of acceptance, understanding, flavor saving, and upper lip warmth for all mustached Americans alike.”

Dave Wannstache Wannstedt couldn’t have put it better himself.