• HEISMAN PUNDIT worries about Charlie Weis’ future, as star Irish QB signee Jimmy Clausen may be damaged goods:

• The Lowell Spinners know not to offend, as the minor league team held a “Politically Correct Night”.

• SLATE sees something lost in the translation, as Ichiro’s observations are getting more bizarre.

• LARRY BROWN SPORTS comes to grips with the story behind this Brian Urlacher photo:

• The HONOLULU ADVERTISER weighs in with news that a Mongolian sumo wrestler has been suspended from the next two Japanese tournaments for playing soccer.

• PART MULE takes it to the hole with these summer slammin’ highlights.

• A BYU football player has been charged with assault after looking for those responsible for throwing water balloons at his girlfriend.

Could the culprit have been this guy?

• Sam Alipour of ESPN calls out the fans in the land of plastic surgery & cosmetic enhancement for giving Barry Bonds a hard time.

• The PITTSBURGH TRIBUNE-REVIEW can’t believe its ears, as Chad Johnson gets a head start with the AFC North trash talk.

• AOL FANHOUSE gets pumped up with news that Dan Patrick will soon be showing up on TV at your local gas station:

• Canada.com’s BASEBALL FOLLIES kicks dirt around the idea that umpire Phil Cuzzi is out to get Ozzie Guillen.

• LION IN OIL covers its ears, as the wrong national anthem is played for the Iraqi soccer team.