• Now that the Nationals have a new nutty song, BUGS & CRANKS belts out some additional lyrics for the other 29 Major League teams.

(Screech gets ready to get down to the new nutty Nats sound)

• STEROID NATION sprints out news that former fast man Tim Montgomery has run into trouble for heroin distribution.

• Look out, Loretta! GOING FIVE HOLE needs your help in choosing the best quote uttered by Pittsburgh Penguins play caller Mike Lange.

• Sure, it’s one thing to break out the pink bats for Mother’s Day. But HOME RUN DERBY wonders if Nick Swisher will unleash a pink goatee.

• THE SPORTS HERNIA offers some sage words of advice to those who still can’t execute a high five properly.

• SONS OF STEVE GARVEY asks L.A sports writer Bill Plaschke to help them write a column. Help. Write. A Column.

• THREE STRIKES AND OUT slams down their approval of ex-wrestler Ron Simmons getting elected to the College Football Hall of Fame.

• STORMING THE FLOOR discovers that the NCAA ads claiming they help student athletes go pro in something other than sports just might be true.