My Buzzkill: Limo, Strippers, Booze & NFL Players

I’ve pretty much lost interest in Jayson Williams‘ inevitable death spiral but then there’s this from Rush & Molloy at the NEW YORK DAILY NEWS:

Stripper in a limo

(Sports radio promo guys: Don’t even THINK about it)

Former Scores owner Elliot Osher tells us Williams once invited Osher’s late brother, Billy, and a bunch of the staff from his strip emporium to go club-hopping. Osher recalls Billy called him in a panic.

According to Osher, Billy said the crew was riding around in the limo when Williams unzipped his trousers and got intimate with himself. “There were no girls there,” says Osher.

“[Jayson] says, ‘This is cool, right? Come on guys, don’t worry about it. I’m not gay!’” Osher, who’s writing a memoir, says his bro jumped out of that limo. Williams’ lawyer, Joseph Hayden, didn’t return calls.

Okay, not that interesting either. But reminds me of when I worked as a Program Director of a sports radio station in Kansas City in the late ’90s - and the time we did a contest to select promo girls for the station.

The promotions director at the station decided it’d be a great idea to round up a bunch of strippers as ringers for the contest. He then invited several KC Chiefs and KC Royals as celebrity judges. The players I can remember for the Chiefs were Andre Rison and former USC receiver Larry Parker. Mike Sweeney from the Royals was also in attendance, though dude is a god-squadder who fled the scene almost immediately.

The promotions director set up a limo for the strippers, who I later found out caused about $1,000 in damage to the vehicle from rubbing out lit cigarettes all over the interior. (Got a nice voicemail from the GM of the station about that the next morning.)

So the contest ends, and I walk outside with the promo director. We open the door of the limo and see two of the strippers, completely nude, engaged in a sex act with each other. Next to them were two Chiefs getting their Jayson Williams on.

It wasn’t Parker or Rison, I actually don’t remember who the Chiefs were in the limo. Surprising that I can’t recall, as that moment is regrettably forever seared into the lining of my frontal lobe.

To this day I will never forgive the promo guy who got me access to a limo, strippers and free booze at a bar - and then had the bright idea to invite the Chiefs.

Pro tip for sports radio sad sacks: hire Rachel Uchitel for your next promotion.