In a battle to decide which side wears funnier hats, a group of young Toronto-area Muslims took on the Mounties yesterday. And if you just jumped to conclusions without waiting for me to tell you it was a friendly game of soccer, then you, sir, are a racist.

As part of a community outreach program to improve relations between the police and T.O.’s Muslim community, the RCMP and a local Islamic center suited up for a match at BMO Field, home to MLS’ Toronto FC. The game ended in a 4-all tie, meaning that neither Canada nor the Middle East have achieved world supremacy…yet. Remember, if you don’t play a collapsing defense, then the terrorists have already won.

The outspoken Mr. [Muhammad Robert] Heft, a Muslim convert recognizable in his trademark white turban, runs a Toronto Islamic centre known as P4E. An avowed fundamentalist, but one who is deeply critical of terrorism, he spent months organizing the match.

He said his time paid off, even just to see smiling cops running around with young Muslim men. He described the Mounties as good sportsmen, even if he found them pretty lax about enforcement.

“We didn’t even have a referee in the game,” he said. “… A couple of times, our guys were offside and they [the Mounties] let them go.”

It’s a great idea, and it just goes to show you that no matter how different our cultures are, at least everyone in the world can agree on soccer. Oh, no, wait, America hates soccer. Nevermind, back to the war then. But at least all is hunky-dory for our neighbors to the north:

At the conclusion of the event, Mr. Heft, the organizer, thanked the Mounties for their time.

Then, he said, he urged them to convert to Islam.