Mugabe Gives White Swimmer $100k in Suitcase

Kirsty Coventry… that name seems familiar.  She was in the Olympics, right?  As always, our trip to Rogge’s Brigadoon starts to fade immediately after the traditional boot to the head from David Beckham and we start thinking about more traditional pursuits.  If only we had some kind of visual to stimulate the memory…

Kirsty Coventry

(”I’m gettin’ a suitcase filled with caaaaaash… I’m gettin’ a suitcase filled with caaaaaash…”)

Oh, right!  She was one of the people dressed like a dolphin.   We remember now.  Also, we remember her as the woman to receive US$100,000 from noted Zimbabwe strongman (and/or puppet of the military) Robert Mugabe in a suitcase.  The “daughter from Zimbabwe”, as he calls her, long since left the war-torn nest for the United States.  We can’t imagine why.

For those of you that find this distribution of funds distasteful for a country facing six kajillion percent inflation (note: our numbers are no less accurate than Zimbabwe’s estimates), don’t fret: Coventry was stopped at the airport in Harare by government officials and was dispossessed of the suitcase.  The money inside was redistributed to 50 black Zimbabwe athletes.

(HA!  Who are we kidding?  That went right to a general’s wall safe.)