Moralistic Utah Oafs Offended By Gym’s Gyrations

Some Utah busybodies have their panties in a bunch over the scantily-clad hardbodies shown at a couple of local gyms.

Pole exercising

The DESERET MORNING NEWS reports that a collection of prudish residents and student groups have petitioned the Gold’s Gyms in Provo & Orem to change their videos on display - claiming that some of their in-house programming is ‘pornographic’.

In addition, they demand that blinds be installed in rooms where more ‘provocative’ workouts take place, such as…*gasp*, dancing! Petitioners proclaim they’ve been shamed by what they’ve seen behind the glass walls of their local for-profit physical activity center.

One offended viewer commented, “I could read you some of the lyrics from these videos, but it would be too embarrassing for both of us.”

Embarrassing in the fact that he’s probably illiterate.

Gold's Gym Parking Sign

A spokesman said if immediate changes are not made in the gym’s visual practices, they would begin protesting outside the exercise establishments every Saturday - “One hundred years if it takes that long.” Or until BYU football practice starts.

Meanwhile, expect membership at the Provo & Orem athletic offices to rise significantly - along with other things if the “dirty” movies remain on the tube.