Ex-MLBers To Play Drug Dealers In Upcoming Film

Imagine you’re a small-time actor who wants to make a mob movie. You’ve written a script, you’ve borrowed a camera, you’ve got moxie out the wazoo. All you need now is money and actors, and you’re well on your way to an Academy Award. Where to go from there?

Bronson Arroyo
(Crappy pitcher, crappy musician, soon-to-be crappy movie producer)

If you’re actor William Demeo, you turn to the group of people with the best combination of money, delusions of grandeur, and free time - that’s right, professional athletes. Demeo’s making a mob movie called “The Sixth Family”, and apparently it’s going to star half of Major League Baseball.

That’s the word from SPORTS BUSINESS DAILY (subscription required):

[Demeo] said that former MLBers SANDY ALOMAR JR. and EDUARDO PEREZ will be cast as drug dealers in his upcoming movie, “The Sixth Family.” The film is co-produced by Reds P BRONSON ARROYO and Gaylord Sports Management VP/Baseball TERRY BROSS. DeMeo said that he also will approach Mets RF GARY SHEFFIELD about a role in the movie, while several current players, including White Sox P BRIAN ANDERSON and Rangers P BRANDON MCCARTHY, also will appear in the film.

Baseball and movies are two things that the United States has done pretty well over the past 100-plus years. They’re two things we, and most people we know, enjoy thoroughly and frequently. Movies about baseball also tend to be pretty popular; “Field of Dreams” and “The Natural” come to mind as two movies that have become a big part of American culture. This new film, however, is utterly unnecessary.

For athletes, it’s must not be enough to have millions of dollars and a jet-setting lifestyle. They’re always opening restaurants, starting bands, and pretending to be actors - and they usually do all of these things very poorly. There are tens of thousands of struggling actors in Hollywood, some of whom are probably quite talented, but Demeo’s so much of a jock-sniffer that he’d rather have Gary freaking Sheffield around on his set to woodenly drop a couple of cliched drug dealer lines. Here’s hoping this pile of dung never gets made.