No Water Allowed? MLB Dugout Is Gatorade-Only

Ed Price of the NEW JERSEY STAR-LEDGER spotted an odd sign at U.S. Celluar Field (née New Comiskey) in Chicago this week: “NO BOTTLED WATER ON THE BENCH“. Using un-blogger-like investigative skills, he tracked down the reason for the ban on the dangerous liquid: it would make Gatorade very angry.

Gatorade money shot

Gatorade paid a lot for their product to be shown prominently cupping the mouths of Major League ballplayers. If they don’t get their money shot, they will have to seriously consider taking their business elsewhere. And what will dehydrating baseball players do without their electrolyte delivery vehicles? (Besides laying off the caffeine, we mean.)

And don’t try to circumvent the system, you spoiled rich athletes:

“White Sox clubhouse personnel said if players take bottled water onto the bench, all the bottled water will be removed from the clubhouse as punishment.”

Now we understand the reason the White Sox are insisting more loudly than other teams: Jerry Reinsdorf doesn’t want to pay the new bottled water tax in Chicago.