MLB: Keep Those Pants Up, Or It’s a $1,000 Fine

After turning a blind eye for so many years, Major League Baseball is finally taking a stand and doing something about a horrible blight that’s been a blemish on their sport for much too long. Of course I’m talking about players pulling their pants over their cleats.

Denard Span Alexi Casilla Minnesota Twins

(Denard Span [L] & Alexi Casilla [R] - keep those leg cuffs up, or it’s gonna cost you a cool thousand)

Oh, Denard Span of the Minnesota Twins thought he was so smart, stretching his game slacks over his cleated shoes during a series with Baltimore last season. But Bud Selig & Co. weren’t fooled, and they have a message for Denny - do that again, and we’ll fine you $1,000.

But it’s not just Span who needs to be worried - the whole Twins roster received the same warning in a letter from the commish’s office that manager Rod Gardenhire read to his whole team last Thursday. Thanks for ruining it for everybody, Denard!

However, Span says he’s innocent - as Curly Howard would say, he’s a “victim of soicumstance!” It just so happened that as he slid into base, the bottom of his pant leg got caught in his spikes. And there just happened to be a photographer from a weekday national newspaper that happened to snap a shot at the most inopportune time.


“I didn’t realize until after the game when I had a hole in the bottom of my pants from the cleat,” he said. “The following day, the USA Today showed me taking out the second baseman. If it wasn’t for the picture USA Today took — so I blame USA Today — no one would have found out.”

A likely story. Sure, Denard, blame the media for your foul deeds. But it’s no use passing the buck - Bud’s on to you, and it’s gonna cost you a thousand more bucks if you try such a sneaky fashion faux pas again.

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