So when I first saw the headline “Head Football Coach at Mississippi State Up For Bid” on FRIENDS OF THE PROGRAM, I assumed that this was just a logical extension of the recruiting process in the SEC. Why bother fooling around with “supporting” the players when you can just go ahead and purchase the coach outright? Kudos to the Bulldogs for finally being upfront about it.
(This could be you. Unless you are Sylvester Croom.)
But it turns out that isn’t the case. Instead, the school is offering one lucky (and rich) fan the opportunity to be the “head coach” of the White team in the Maroon-White Spring Game later this month. Which is a dream come true for…someone? People must be interested, since the top bid so far is $1,500, and there are still 12 days to go until bidding closes.
In case you were wondering, there’s no mention of the winning bid going to any charity, so I imagine the money is going straight into the war chest of the school’s athletic department. But think about what you’ll get for your money: a chance to match wits against new head coach Dan Mullen as you draft the two teams, and then sit in on practice sessions and make “tough game day decisions” for the team. Which I suspect would include “where should I stand so I’m out of the way of the real coaches” and “what flavor Gatorade should we use?”
Oh, and you get to give the pregame speech to your team. Maybe the Bulldogs will track down Jackie Sherrill and have him bring along a bovine friend as he gives you pointers on how to get the team fired up before a big game.