Miss. State Brings Body Paint, Fellatio To Rivalry

On Tuesday, we brought you the story of Tennessee’s shirtless “Wild Boyz,” which sounds like the name of an “alternative” adult movie - and which looks like one, too. But despite the overwhelming shirtlessness of it all, it was still a bit, well, passive. It’s not an orgy if everyone’s just standing around; you need some action.

Mississippi State Shirtless Suck It
(But what if I don’t want to suck it?)

Fortunately, as you can see above, Mississippi State is upping the ante in the SEC. Sure, most people would balk at encouraging your rival to perform oral sex on you, especially since said rival has won 7 of the last 9 games and just got done ending your season with a 45-0 ass-kicking, but you know what? Mississippi State’s just going for it, man.

Yes, our more wrestling-savvy readers will recognize the toweled exhortation as an unsubtle reference to the “Degeneration-X” wrestling team from the early part of this decade in the WWE. You know, these guys:

Oh man, so “in your face.” That Hunter Hearst Helmsley sure is something.

But when you consider the limitless amount of trash to be talked between in-state rivalries, on-field results be damned, doesn’t it seem like there’s a better way to go about it?

Like, okay. The Bulldog in question has chosen drawing on a towel, then drawing on himself, encouraging random people to put their mouth on his “Bulldog,” referencing a stale old pro wrestling gimmick, and beasting in front of a camera. Okay, friend. Instead of all five of those things, let’s choose “none of them.” Yes, “none of them” is a much, much better idea.

Now let’s get a shirt on you and get you out of here. You’ve obviously had a long day and/or concussed yourself.