Minor League Team To Give Their Fans Fart Filters

A baseball game can be a great place for a date, especially if you’re with a girl who enjoys the game of baseball. There is plenty of downtime at a baseball game, which gives you plenty of time to talk and get to know the girl whose pants you’re trying to get into, and convince her to let you into those pants. But baseball games have their dangers, too.

While ballpark food can be quite tasty, it does also tend to have some side effects. Around the fifth or sixth inning you may find yourself needing to relieve a little pressure from your abdomen. You can’t let some air out of your tire with the girl sitting next to you though, because it’s bound to be a deal breaker. Still, the bases are loaded right now and you can’t leave your seat, but you’re about to explode. What do you do?

Inevitably you squeeze one out silently and you just pray it doesn’t smell too bad, and if it does you just hope you can blame it on the fat guy sitting in front of you. She doesn’t, though, and you’re screwed. If only you’d taken her to a Lake Elsinore Storm game.


On Monday, the club issued a press release that, in its comedic potential, is almost too good to be true. In the first two paragraphs, the Storm tout the great value of their weekly “Fat Tuesday” all-you-can-eat special. That’s the set-up, and here’s the punchline:

“You can probably deduce that All-You-Can-Eat ballpark food might lead to substantial gas emissions, which is where corporate sponsor, Subtle Butt, enters the picture. Made of activated carbon fabric, each disposable 3.25″ square shield is held onto the inside of the underwear with two self-adhesive strips. Subtle Butt effectively filters flatulence, absorbing and neutralizing its odor.”

Seems made up, right? Well it’s not. Subtle Butt is a real product with its own website and YouTube video, so it’s legit.

Now I’m not sure I’d go and fart right in the face of your date like the dirty old man in the video did to the good doctor, but at least the first 250 fans in attendance at the Storm game will know that they can pass gas at will and not have to worry about causing anyone near them to pass out.

That’s the kind of peace of mind you just can’t pay for, though the filters do cost $5 for five of them when you buy them wholesale, and really, what other way are you going to buy them?