Mike Woodson is still the head coach of the Atlanta Hawks until June 30th, when his contract expires. Not many coaches ever reach that point in their contract; they’re usually fired or extended by that point. Still, there he is with a 37-45 record hovering over his shiny scalp, waiting for Canada Day and his first unemployment check.

(”Do you have any ideas on how to stop them?”)

Stretching the lauded Celtics to a seventh game added sheen to the ol’ Woodson noggin, but his efforts at image reclamation dulled in the 99-65 thrashing at the hands of Doc Rivers’ boys. We regret we didn’t grab a screenshot of the enduring image from the ‘contest’: Mike Woodson’s huge mitt rubbing his bald head and staring blankly at the action like it was the last act of ‘2001‘.

There’s no shame in not having the right answer in Game 7 against these Celtics; for all their faults (and more on those in a moment), they’re awfully good and the Hawks simply aren’t. However, that does not forgive Mike Woodson for leaving his answer sheet blank. Ball movement that stiff usually comes with a prescription for a laxative and to lay off the caffeine for awhile.

We do not know if Mike Woodson can even achieve a .500 record in the Eastern Conference. We do know he doesn’t test well. Considering the playoffs are one series of standardized tests after another, the new Hawks ownership structure may want to find someone in a higher percentile.

Now onto the Celtics: ODENIZED asked us our opinion on these newly tested Celtics after Game 7, where they exorcised their shame for taking so long and pretended that made it all better. Our answer? “Mythic three-headed beast with an Achilles-level fatal flaw: its brain. Popovich will slay it with riddles.” ‘Nuff said.