UPDATE: Amateur Video from Mike & Mike Roast featuring Ditka d*ck joke fun!

UPDATE: Jacobson’s apology to the Catholic League.

UPDATE: Jacobson suspended by ESPN for a week.

UPDATE: Jacobson complains about off-air treatment by network.

ORIGINAL POST:

We seemed to have missed all the fun at the Mike & Mike Celebrity Roast Friday night. Or maybe we didn’t miss that much.

AWFUL ANNOUNCING tips us off to Scott Cronick of the PRESS OF ATLANTIC CITY, who chronicled the tribute to the Worldwide Leader’s own radio hams, Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic.

Cronick sums up the evening’s escapades by concluding, “The problem with this roast, unlike a Comedy Central or Friar’s Club roast, was that there weren’t enough comedians. Instead, the stage was mostly filled with athletes and ESPN personalities. Not comedians. And it showed.”

Some of the “highlights”:

• Host (and actual comedian) Jeffrey Ross surveyed the crowd and commented, “This isn’t a who’s who. It’s who didn’t make the playoffs.”

• Fellow ESPN employee & anchor Dana Jacobson “made an absolute fool of herself, swilling vodka from a Belvedere bottle, mumbling along and cursing like a sailor as Mike & Mike rested their heads in their hands in embarrassment.”

• Baltimore Ravens safety Ed Reed was also drunk on stage, not reading any of the jokes written for him. Ross replied, “I didn’t realize his middle name was ‘Can’t’.”

• Charlie Weis didn’t even crack any jokes at all, “praising the duo and missing the whole point of the night.” (What do you expect from a coach who led Notre Dame to one of their worst seasons ever?)

• But the best line of the night came courtesy of another actual comedian, Eddie Griffin:

“I kind of know my career is over when I’m hired to roast two white guys I never f—ing heard of.”

Well said.