SAY “AAAAAAAAAAAH!”; DITKA WANTED TO BE A DENTIST: Mike Ditka, former Chicago Bears coach and NFL all-pro tight end, explained why he chose to play his collegiate years at the University of Pittsburgh.

He wanted to be a dentist.

During last night’s 49ers-Cardinals snoozefest nail-biter, ESPN booth-minders Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic were chatting it up to make the time go by faster, which is always a good idea when the Niners and Cards match up.

Mike 1 and Mike 2 told the viewing audience (all 3 of you) that Mike 3 played as a Pitt Panther while he studied dentistry. But it wasn’t meant to be, as Da Coach admitted he had trouble with “all the chemistry and all the physics classes” - so he chose a career path more suited to breaking teeth than fixing them.

The Mike Named Golic expressed how much fun it would be to have your molars checked by Dr. Ditka: “Can you imagine sitting in the chair, and having (Ditka) come in, and tell you (in a gruff voice) ‘Open your mouth!’? I’m running out the door.”