Michigan Winless Since Bo Schembechler Died

WOOZY WORN-OUT WOLVERINES NEED TO BRING BACK BO: Glenn “Bo” Schembechler must be spinning in his grave faster than an Oregon wideout, due to this season’s travails of his beloved Wolverines.

Bo Schembechler

First, the opening loss to 1-AA* Appalachian State at home. Then, there’s last weekend’s 39-7 tar & feathering at the hands of the Ducks. The loss to Nike’s favorite uniform lab rats was the worst by Michigan since 1968, when the Buckeyes gave black eyes to the Maize & Blue 50-14.

The ‘68 setback was also the last game before Bo came to Ann Arbor - which may explain Michigan’s mind-numbing mediocrity. The Wolverines have not won a game since Schembechler’s passing the night before last year’s Ohio State tilt.

Bo Schembechler Ohio State Michigan

The 0-4 slide includes the Columbus close-call, USC’s 32-18 thorn in Michigan’s side in the Rose Bowl, and the previously mentioned App State and Oregon defeats.

Someone in the campus labs may want to secure a sample of Schembechler’s DNA and get a clone on the sidelines quick. Or maybe find a Wolverine witch doctor to bring Bo back to life and back in the Big House.

Garfield strip Wolverine

But the cure-all prescription may be a healty dose of visiting 0-2 Notre Dame - or it might become the final nail in Lloyd Carr’s coffin.

(*-Yes, we know it’s now officially called the “Football Championship Subdivision”. And Tabsaco is officially supposed to be called “pepper sauce”.)