Michael Jordan $160 Million Divorce Settlement Largest In History

BOTTLE-BLONDE FATTIES COST THE FACE OF NIKE $160M: The LONDON TIMES, via DEUCE OF DAVENPORT, reports what all those blonde fatties over the years ended up costing Michael Jordan: $160M. And that settlement between MJ and former maid wife Juanita is the largest celebrity divorce payout in history.

Michael Jordan Blonde Fatty

The Times has the warm, fuzzy details of how the Jordan’s relationship blossomed: “He was already a wealthy basketball star with the Chicago Bulls when the couple met on a blind date in 1984. He proposed a few months later but Juanita initially turned him down. A year after their marriage in Las Vegas, he signed a prenuptial agreement that entitled her to half his fortune, but she has claimed only a third.

Michael Jordan Cabo Coeds

It seems somewhat preposterous that Jordan didn’t sign a more restrictive pre-nup with Juanita. But anyone who can continue to endorse myriad products and remain the face of Nike (how can anyone look him in the eye in Beaverton without laughing) in the wake of unending adulterous activity and notorious gambling losses deserves our undying admiration.

Michael Jordan stoned

MOST importantly, he can still buy plenty of Purple Hooters for the ladies at the Holiday Inn piano bar in Laughlin with the loot he has left over.