Memphis Robbed Of More Than Just National Title

While the Memphis Tigers were in San Antonio clanking critical free throws and having their hearts broken by Mario Chalmers, the always supportive residents of Memphis were relieving them of the burden of material possessions, reports WREG in Tennessee. No doubt the thieves wanted to show them what’s truly important: Fearing for your life in Memphis.

Derrick Rose Memphis

While the Tigers were away, Hashim Bailey says a burglar was at play, putting his greedy paws on his stuff and roommate Jeff Robinson’s.

“They took a VCR, DVD player, clothes, sneakers. That’s really it. iPods and other electronics you can sell.”

Players say break-ins at the team’s apartment are nothing new. “It’s happened four or five times already.” Bailey says most times, they occur under similar circumstances, while the team is out of town on tournaments.

Shocker. Memphis is a crime-plagued blight, but that’s too sociological an explanation. No, there must be a more sports-related solution.

The news has fans crying foul after all the team’s done for the city. “It’s dirty. It’s green. That’s crazy! They must be Volunteer fans.”

Ah, that’s the stuff. Danged Volunteer fans, pillaging the town blind celebrating their women’s hoops national title.

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