The ASSOCIATED PRESS has the latest piece celebrating the obscene devotion of Memphis hoops coach Josh Pastner to his job. Like you, I’ve heard too many stories about Pastner’s fastidious approach to coaching, but something new caught my eye in the AP profile.
(So no granola, cereal or fat-free frozen yogurt ever? Amazing!)
Pastner, the new Memphis coach, says he has never sipped alcohol, smoked a cigarette, tried caffeine or drunk a soda. He is no goody two-shoes; he is just the coaching equivalent of a gym rat.
“He’s always said he would want to tell his players if he wants to be a role model for his players, he would want to make sure what he told them, he lived so he decided never to drink alcohol, and we never gave him soda,” Hal Pastner said.
The last person touting something like that was Todd Marinovich, who most recently was busted for meth while skateboarding as a 40-something in Orange County.
Josh Pastner, thanks to his own relentless self-promotion to the media, might be the most written-about, first-year college hoops coach in history. Call me a cynic, but I’m very dubious of all that he has to claimed media lap dogs over the years.
A clue why I think Pastner is a serial exaggerator came from a single, seemingly innocuous claim thrown into the AP piece:
he (Pastner) has never sipped alcohol, smoked a cigarette, tried caffeine or drunk a soda.
First, understand that most likely Pastner is the one who gave that description to the AP writer.
From it we learn that Pastner’s never “tried caffeine“? Perhaps that was meant in a beverage context, but caffeine is present in countless foods we all ingest, sometimes unknowningly.
Examples: Granola bars, cereal and frozen yogurt.
My point here is that it’s nearly impossible as a functioning human for Pastner to have not ingested caffeine at some point in at least scant amounts, yet he makes it a point of emphasis to the AP reporter. Why? To continue to build the myth of his complete and utter devotion to a sober lifestyle. That in turn reflects on his coaching acumen on and off-the-court.
Not saying Pastner is a liar, perhaps he really does believe he’s never tried caffeine. But someone who makes a claim like that is not living in reality, and clues us in to his propensity to exaggerate about himself.
That in turn tells me there’s more than likely other things Pastner has exaggerated about. Doesn’t mean he won’t be a great coach. On the contrary, he’s already got the media doing his bidding, which is crucial to recruiting and fan perception.
6:43 pm on November 23rd, 2009
The guy’s basically been a recruiting phenom since he was in high school. Of course he’s a master of the sales pitch by now.
Of course, being a UA guy, I’m rooting for him. But I’m not buying this one.
7:36 pm on November 23rd, 2009
Whether you believe it is true or not matters little. What a statement about you to pick up on this story?! Sounds like jealousy by a person of little character who leeches off the lives of athletes. Get a life, Brooks!
7:44 pm on November 23rd, 2009
I agree with Russ. You are pathetic Brooks. Pastner is the real deal.
7:59 pm on November 23rd, 2009
“The last person touting something like that was Todd Marinovich”
Wrong - It was his father who forced the regiment on him at a young age and pretty much fucked his head up for life.
8:08 pm on November 23rd, 2009
Pastner has also never been to a petting zoo,
worn a g-string and thinks Adam Lambert is a “bad man”
11:11 pm on November 23rd, 2009
Brooks didn’t make this story up and is simply bringing it to your attention. Think of this coach as you choose but why attack Brooks? Why in the hell would you shoot the messenger? That’s just ignorant. Don’t be a tool, fool. (Mr. T)
This reminds me of those preachers that tell you how they live cleanly and god-like — then get busted banging the prostitute. Has everyone already forgotten about Coach Pitino? You are gullable if you buy into the smack this guy is laying on you. Ever hear of Jonestown? Don’t drink the kool-aid.
Look, it doesn’t mean this guy is not a good coach. Hell, he may even be a nice guy but he’s also in sales — never forget that for a second — and brother, he’s trying to sell you something.
Shit — I’m all typed out. Peace!
11:15 am on November 24th, 2009
“Call me a cynic, but I’m very dubious of all that he has to claimed media lap dogs over the years.”
What the fuck does that even mean?
2:18 pm on November 24th, 2009
“over the years?” what the hell?
he’s been in the public eye for all of 8 months.
furthermore i’ve met the guy and he does not misrepresent himself at all. “serial exaggerator…” get real.
this is a horrible article. sad thing is it’s not the stupidest one i’ve read here.
2:28 pm on November 24th, 2009
Ironic that someone who named a website after himself, changed the word “blog” to more closely mirror his own name, and posts pics of scantily-clad, insanely-hot women (thank you for that, by the way) all over his site has a problem with self-promotion. Very ironic.
Oh, and I would think it’s the number one recruiting class in the nation, in his first year as a head coach, that is creating all this hype you seem to hate about Pastner. You can’t deny that’s a mind-boggling feat. Sure, it was a feel-good story when he took over, but the results on a very short scale have been pretty impressive. Maybe he never has tried caffeine.
2:57 pm on November 24th, 2009
Pastner needs to face the music! Get the NCAA to drug test him immediately. The last thing the college coaching ranks needs is a young coach that lies about his caffeine intake. I shutter to think what other scandalous things are going on in the coaching ranks when we have coaches bold face lying about whether or not they have ingested caffeine. Great job bringing this to light Brooks… what other ground breaking news do you have to report?
3:56 pm on November 24th, 2009
Self-promotion to the media? Don’t think so. He’s had NUMEROUS offers in Memphis since his hiring to be in advertisements but has turned down all of them. And those were before he put together his #1 recruiting class… the class that has the media buzzing about him. Whenever he’s being interviewed he talks about anything other than himself.
And when you think of caffeine you think of soda and coffee and not the food products with minute traces in it.
Weak article.
4:52 pm on November 24th, 2009
It is certainly true that caffeine occurs naturally in a lot of foods, and therefore Josh Pastner is ingesting some. Most people know that, and Pastner knows that. I think the point Pastner is communicating is that he has made a choice NOT to drink/eat those items known to be a major delivery vehicle for it. That’s all. And I think the vast majority of people understand that’s what he means. Brooks, you seem to be building a legal case against a generalized statement from Pastner about his lifestyle. Here’s some good advice: take a deep breath and chill out. And maybe lay off the caffeine yourself.