We come to you today, gentle reader, with shocking news of an epidemic that has washed across the sports journalism landscape. This sudsy tale of dirty men and women has stained the reputations of sports sections across America. Still, the filth that permeates each of these tales can do nothing but harm to these formerly bold franchises.
(Keep stacking it higher, newspapers)
By which we mean: newspapers all over the United States can’t stop themselves from writing human interest pieces on people that wash ball players’ clothes. First, it was New York. Then it was Los Angeles (by way of Anaheim). Now the bathwater has been thrown out in Seattle with heroic acclaim for the lowly Seahawk scrubber.
Our bottle of Downy Simple Pleasures fabric softener for an original idea!
We admit that we found it quaint at first. Even the second time around had its charms. Now? We’ve got ring around the collar and we’re choking in it. We get it. It’s a long damned sports year and a section to fill every day.
However, spare us another episode of “Dirty Jobs”. As it is, we’re ready to punch Mike Rowe in the nose if we see him hold up one more product and grin.