The HATTIESBURG AMERICAN reports this morning in a piece titled, “Where have all of the Tiger Woods hunting paparazzi gone?“:

(Dude is worth $1B. Private care or this?)

The mini-pack of paparazzi that descended on Hattiesburg in the past few weeks trying to get a glimpse of world-renowned golfer Tiger Woods couldn’t be found Monday.

If you were a paparazzo and knew you had a shot at another photo or three that could easily be worth up to seven figures and you’d taken the time, money and effort to drag your butt out to southern Mississippi, why on earth would you leave?

For those of you still somehow convinced that Woods is at Pine Grove rehab center, you might want to take a cue from the real experts here. If the blood-sucking paparazzi has moved on, Woods isn’t in the area.

The only reason anyone ever thought Woods was at the clinic in the first place was by completely suspending common sense and refusing to look at obvious evidence to the contrary.

Last week I noted why Woods wasn’t in Mississippi, and this week I have three more reasons why he isn’t there.

1) RadarOnline has claimed repeatedly in the past 48 hours that Elin Nordegren recently visited her husband at Pine Grove and then flew back to Orlando from Hattiesburg “late Sunday” via “private jet.”

But all you had to do to completely debunk Radar’s report is check the logs of every flight that left both Hattiesburg-area airports on Sunday. (There weren’t many!) None were destined for Orlando. Same with arrivals to all three Orlando airports - zero from the Hattiesburg area.

I know that at least one of the private planes owned by Woods cannot be tracked online via tail number, but that plane would still show up in arrival and departure logs - and there were zero flights out of the Hattiesburg area destined for Orlando or any city remotely close on Sunday.

And if Elin was taking a “private” short hop from Mississippi to Florida, you think she’d be connecting?

2) The entire fraudulent photo debate was driven by one thing only: the money American Media (Radar, Enquirer parent) collected from main media outlets for publishing rights to the original so-called Woods photos at Pine Grove.

Last week the NATIONAL ENQUIRER and sister publication RadarOnline tried to sell the public and media outlets on grainy, somewhat dubious photos it claimed were of Woods on the clinic grounds. The American Media outlets then reportedly proceeded to sell the rights to publish the photos to other outlets, like NBC’s Today, for reportedly up to $10,000 a pop.

48 hours later, X17Online.com produced photos that seemingly debunked the original shots. American Media though claimed that the X17Online shots were of a Woods lookalike, a decoy to fool the public. (What the hell?)

While Radar and the Enquirer’s already dubious credibility was at stake in the photo debate, the real reason those publications put X17’s second set of photos on blast was the money the pubs parent company had collected from main media outlets for publishing rights to the first so-called shots of Woods.

Now you know why Radar and the Enquirer was so quick and vehement in its defense of its original photos. It had to vigorously defend the legitimacy of those shots or risk losing the big money it made selling the photos.

If the clinic did indeed trot out a lookalike, it was for the same reason it erected the higher fences. For the privacy of all of its patients.

3) If you had as much money as Woods, would you spend top dollar on private treatment or go to an unprotected, wide-open treatment center in southern Mississippi surrounded by strangers in a place that resembles a strip mall?

If you were as obsessed with privacy as Woods is, would you get treatment at a clinic that would only open you up to non-stop intrusions, disrupting your care? Not to mention fraternizing with clinic employees and patients who knew that a cellphone pic or video of you could net them in the high six figures?

And if you’re as proud a man as Woods is, would you want anyone to know that you were receiving treatment for sex addiction in the first place?

I don’t know where Tiger Woods is, but I sure know where he isn’t: Hattiesburg, Mississippi.