When you wake up on Monday morning and see yourself all over the Internets looking like this, you know it’s not going to be a good week. Popeye Jones, who played for the Mavericks over two stints from 1993 to 2003, and is now an assistant coach with the team, was arrested and charged with DUI on Sunday.

Jones, it was reported, refused a breathalyzer test and “resisted arrest” before being taken into custody. But Richardson, Texas police say that his resisting was so full of Fail that they’re not even going to charge him with that. Apparently losing one’s balance and hitting the pavement face first is punishment enough.

Jones first came to the attention of Richardson police when they began receiving phone calls from other motorists, who reported that someone was driving erratically in a gray GMC Yukon. Now that’s drunk.

The account below includes bonus Mark Cuban quotes, as you knew it would. Cubes’ love affair with the press continues, I see.

Police are not sure where Jones left from or where he was going. Jones is a player development coach for the Mavericks, who began their season last week. He was not at the team’s practice today.

Dallas Mavericks’ owner Mark Cuban declined to comment on the arrest this morning via e-mail. “I’m not going to comment on Popeye specifically,” he wrote. “The question I do have on the record is this: Why do you care? Do you report on every DWI that occurs in Dallas?”

Until now, the biggest controversy for Mr. Jones was whether his son, Seth Jones, would play hockey for the Everett Silvertips, who chose him in the first round of the WHL bantam draft, or choose to play college hockey instead.