Cuban Comfort: Secret Suite Beneath Mavs Arena

When faced with such problems as bothersome bloggers, rude real estate mongers turned reality show hosts, and yet another first round exit, where can a billionaire basketball owner go to get away from it all?

His underground bunker, of course!

Mark Cuban Bunker Suite

(“Who dares enter my secret lair!”)

Like any powerful evil genius, Mark Cuban has a secret subterranean space to call is own. Well, it was a secret until KTXA-TV in Dallas was invited to check it out.

The so-called Bunker Suite lies deep beneath the American Airlines Center, decorated with such lavish amenities as a fully stocked bar, frosted glass basketballs, and Cuban’s most treasured treasure of all - a poster of himself.

During his time below, Cuban “works there on game day, hangs out with family, and hobnobs with some of the world’s top entertainers.”

The hideout also allows Mark to make plans for world domination, send diabolical demands to the United Nations, and figure out how he can stop having to pay Avery Johnson any more money.

So, if Cuban is ever attacked by nuclear missiles - or worse, David Stern - at least he has a sanctuary for survival. And in the aftermath of world destruction, maybe then and only then can Mark actually make a bid to buy the Cubs.