MARK CUBAN ALREADY OWNS CUBBIES INSIDE CLUBHOUSE: Take a wild guess who Chicago Cubs players really want to buy their eternally-inept franchise?

Mike Berardino of the SOUTH FLORIDA SUN-SENTINEL has the answer: Blog Maverick (that’s Mark Cuban for those of you over the age of 35).

Derrrrek Lee: “I’m just going to throw out there Mark Cuban. That would be my vote. I hope that’s not tampering. Well, he seems awesome. He seems like he’d be cool as an owner.”

Translation: I want my locker outfitted with the latest, greatest video game creations.

Cliff Floyd: “He makes those (Mavericks) players as comfortable as possible. When you have that, the players only love you more.”

Comfortable = No-Wins-Ski.

And leave it to normally nonsensical Ryan Dempster to offer up the pragmatic perspective: “Where would he sit? He’d have to be able to yell at the umpires, right?”