Mariners Could Make Kim Ng First Vowel-less GM

General Manager of Major League Baseball team has to rank very highly on the list of ultimate dream jobs. There’s no official rankings that I know of, but it has to be right near the top. You don’t see millions of people pretending they are in footwear sales by logging in to their Fantasy Foot Locker league.

Kim Ng

That job unfortunately is not for everyone. Seems as though the club is only looking for a “certain type” to join their ranks. Take a look at this list of the current MLB general managers and see if you notice what they all have in common.

That’s right. They all have vowels in their last name. All of them. Red Sox GM, Theo Epstein and Colorado Rockies’ GM Dan O’Dowd’s last names even start with vowels. The Seattle Mariners, however, are reportedly considering breaking down the barriers and going with Los Angeles Dodgers assistant GM Kim Ng to be their next general manager. Ng is also a woman too, so she would also be the first GM to have a vagina, which is also kind of a big deal too.

Mariners president Chuck Armstrong told the ASSOCIATED PRESS, “It’s time for some fresh thinking.” The M’s who are the first team to spend a $100 million and lose a 100 games. Hiring Ng would definitely be deemed “fresh thinking.”

Armstrong added, “We’re color blind, gender blind.” Most importantly the Mariners have proven that they are consonant blind as well.

Ng has proven that you can go far in life, despite the lack of a vowell in your last name:

“The 39-year-old Ng has had her job for seven seasons and was a top adviser to New York Yankees’ GM Brian Cashman before that. She was believed to be the final candidate beaten out by Ned Colletti when Los Angeles selected a new GM in 2005, and the Dodgers say she is the first woman to ever interview for a GM job.”

She gives hope to all the young people who lack a letter “pronounced with an open vocal tract so that there is no build-up of air pressure at any point above the glottis” in their last name.