SHARAPOVA SOMBER IN SACK, SAYS SEX-STUNNED SINGER: DEUCE OF DAVENPORT ribbits the news that apparently Maria Sharapova makes love “like a dead frog”:

Adam Levine, lead singer of the group Maroon 5, briefly dated the tennis star. (Guess the guys from Matchbox 20 and Hinder were unavailable.) Levine made this statement regarding the Russian’s reluctance to get really randy:”She wouldn’t make any noise during sex. I can’t tell you how disappointed I was. I really thought, like a lot of guys, that she’d be the loud screaming type. But instead, she just lay there like a dead frog. She even got angry if I started to moan, said it ‘ruined her concentration.’ ”

Or maybe Maria was just afraid he’d launch into song. Sadly, the poor lovesick fool was so distraught, he said he had to take Paxil for a month just to get over it.

Of course, Levine saves the best for last, adding, “Really, it was much more of a shock than when I found out there’s no such thing as the Easter Bunny.”If that line doesn’t spew out machismo, we don’t know what does.