Maria Sharapova Loves The In-n-Out Burgers Danica Patrick Loses Hair With Race Win

• PART MULE salivates over the news that Maria Sharapova loves the In-n-Out…Burgers:

Maria Sharapova burger

David Hiltbrand of the PHILADELPHIA INQUIRER sadly reports that you can’t rely on ESPN to beat the summer TV doldrums anymore.• The CLEVELAND PLAIN DEALER hops off the bench to play for everyone’s favorite coach, Pete Carroll.

• She can always join Terry Bradshaw’s Supercuts Team: YOU’VE BEEN BLINDED snips on the tip that Danica Patrick might lose her hair if she wins a race:

Danica Patrick Supercuts

• BILLBOARD tops the charts with John Mellencamp, Faith Hill and Kelly Clarkson headlining this year’s NFL opening kickoff.• SOCAL SPORTS OBSERVED loves a game of crazy eights, as it’s exactly 1 year until the Beijing Olympics start at 8:08 p.m. on 8/8/08.

• WINNING THE TURNOVER BATTLE discovers it just kills the fat kid from “Superbad” that O.J. stole his woman:

Superbad OJ

• The ST. PETERSBURG TIMES wishes a fond farewell to outgoing Lightning owner Bill Davidson.• SONS OF SAM MALONE gazes into their crystal football to see what future HOFers have in store for Canton.

• EARTHGOLF gets out the 12-iron to play a 8,000-yard golf course:

Caddyshack Noonan Ty Carl

• CNBC’s Darren Rovell gets an explanation why less baseball fans show up for cheap beer night.• Collin Mickle of The OPELIKA-AUBURN (AL) NEWS is knocked off his feet by Nike reintroducing Charles Barkley’s shoes.