Marcus Vick Popped For DUI By “Bicycle Officer”

Most of us have already forgotten about Virginia Tech troublemaker and NFL bust Marcus Vick, and that’s a shame, because the rest of us knew, deep down, that he had so much more to contribute to society.

Marcus Vick

And as of today, we were right.

The junior Vick is back in the news after being cited for a DUI in eastern Virginia. That Marcus, he just doesn’t give a Norfolk (so long as you pronounce it correctly).

From the NORFOLK VIRGINIAN-PILOT:

According to Officer Chris Amos, police spokesman, a bicycle officer approached a couple arguing in a car in the 200 block of Granby Street around 2 a.m. Friday.

When the officer asked for the man’s identification the car took off at high speed, Amos said. A few minutes later another officer spotted the car and stopped it in the 300 block of Armistead Ave.

Vick, of the 5100 block of West Creek St., failed a sobriety test, Amos said, and was charged with DUI, misdemeanor eluding police, reckless driving and driving on a suspended license. The woman, identified as Delicia Lenora Cordon, 24, of Miami, was charged with being drunk in public.

The spat between Cordon and Vick could have been one as business partners rather than jilted lovers (or both). Cordon’s MYSPACE page (which takes about three or four days to load) shows invitations for different events that the pair co-hosted, including a local America’s Next Top Model spinoff and Marcus’ 24th birthday party.

The birthday invite is unintentionally hilarious, as it features Vick in a Miami Dolphins game uniform. Vick was only active for a handful of games with that team, and accumulated no stats of any kind.

Hang on a second…

Marcus Vick escape route

So in Vick’s flee from justice, he only managed to drive a mile and a half down the street? That’s not running from the law; that’s more like jogging from the law.

That crazy Vick. He doesn’t even have the instincts to elude the authorities. No wonder he couldn’t stay in the league. What NFL team would take a guy that couldn’t even outrun the cops?