Manchester City Water Induces Temp Insanity?

We’re pretty sure there’s something in Manchester, UK, that addles the brain. Perhaps it’s not the water; perhaps it’s the air. Or dirt. Or the Bee Gees’ lasting influence. However, we can now add to our “absolutely bat guano actions by people connected to Man City football” collection with two new tales of woe. (As in, “whoa, what the hell?”)

Sven-Not-Sven

First, take a gander at the lucky fellow above chatting with a coach of a Mexican soccer team and being trailed by two ladies-in-tubes. He would appear to be new Mexican national team coach Sven-Goran Eriksson, who was just canned from Man City as their coach.

All of this would be rather mundane if it wasn’t for the fact that the real Sven-Goran Eriksson was thousands of miles away in the United States at the time of this impromptu visit. And here we thought that giant sucking sound was NAFTA, not the ability to clone overrated soccer coaches to create suction in two countries simultaneously.

No, that was an impostor whose sole day job is “Sven-Goran Eriksson impersonator”. When Sven was chased out of England after ruining their national team and Man City, this fellow would appear to have been out of a job. However, he merely picked up stakes and headed to Mexico for a summer vacation. With tubed ladies. (Please remember to put the cap back on, “Sven”.)

Of course, the team he left behind has come no closer to solving their problems now that they’ve tossed Mr. Eriksson to the way side. Instead, they’ve kowtowed to the ’suggestion’ by Thai part-owners of the club to initiate a little feng shui on the Man City stadium and facilities to bring better success to the team.

Crystals and symbols have now been buried and/or displayed throughout the stadium. One source to TIMES ONLINE compared it to Catholicism. We don’t know as much about soccer or feng shui as we’d like, but we always thought getting skilled players and pointing them in the direction of goal accomplished both tasks well enough.

Then again, we haven’t been drinking the Man City water. No wonder those crazy sailor-wannabe fans conned a magazine to buy them booze for the trip; they couldn’t take the local drinking water anymore.