Man Utd Star Rio Ferdinand Prefers A Snugger Fit

Soccer has always had a tough time gaining legitimacy as a sport amongst a large portion of Americans. Maybe it’s Americans’ latent isolationist bent, maybe it’s the flopping, maybe it’s the frequent 0-0 matches. Or maybe it’s stuff like this:

Rio Ferdinand

(He appears to be a Florida fan to boot.)

No, your eyes do not deceive you. That is indeed Manchester United star Rio Ferdinand wearing a halter top and short jorts, filling the questionable fashion hole left after the departure of Miss World Cristiano Ronaldo.  In the words of Mr. Belding, “what is going on here?”

You know what they say - three’s a trend. First there were Cristiano Ronaldo’s interesting fashion choices:

Cristiano Ronaldo

Then, we heard about CR’s interesting choice of poolside massage therapist:

Cristiano Ronaldo Vegas

And now along comes Rio, looking simply fabulous. Like we said, three’s a trend. It might be time to ratchet up the Soccer Alert Level (which we just made up, but let’s say it’s at mauve right now) to Code Pink. Can we get a ruling on this, ref?