You know how neighbors’ kids can be really annoying when they’re first learning to shoot hoops? They’ve got no jump shot, so errant attempts inevitably land in your lawn or occasionally, upside your head when you’re walking past. Well, that’s approximately what happened to David Reshan of Dunn, Wisconsin, a week and a half ago. And Reshan did what many of us might if we were having a particularly bad day: He stabbed the basketball with a screwdriver. There’s only one problem: That minor act earned Reshan enough attention from the police to warrant a house call, where Reshan happens to run a marijuana business.
(Add a screwdriver and a lunatic, and you end up with five criminal counts.)
According to the MADISON CAPITAL TIMES, Reshan is now facing charges of maintaining a drug dwelling, resisting arrest, obstructing, disorderly conduct and criminal damage to property - all after police were called following his run-in with the basketball of his neighbors’ 10-year-old daughter, who, Reshan felt, was making too much noise.
Note to self: Next time you set up a drug operation, make sure to take all your neighbors’ crap.
Of course, Reshan clearly isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, either. The father of the little girl whose basketball he stabbed tried to talk to Reshan directly, but he wouldn’t answer his door. That’s the only reason why police were brought in at all. Then, when Reshan was being arrested for the relatively minor charges of disorderly conduct and criminal damage to property, he ran inside his own house where, shock of all shocks, he was hiding an AK-47, 10 other guns, enough ammunition to hold a full-fledged stand-off, five marijuana plants, $18,000 and several hundred grams of marijuana.
So, that’s probably the last time the general Madison area will hear about Reshan. Now, if only he had gripped the ball menacingly and then handed it back, maybe Wisconsin would still have one more dealer.