Jay Weiner of SPORTS BUSINESS DAILY reports that while the Twins wait for their new, outdoor(!) stadium, the club is now thankful that attendance has gone in the tank.

And no, it isn’t what you’re thinking.

(Dubya’s next gig: Winning over whiny Brewers fans)

The Twins, running on empty at the gate, are discounting tickets with an eye toward soaring gas prices. Beginning today, a program called “Tanks from the Twins” will let ticket buyers score a discount keyed to the national average for the price of a gallon of gasoline.

Apparently whatever the median gas price for the country is that week, the Twins will discount ticket prices based on that amount.

Great. That makes me feel so much better about not driving anymore setting fire to $7,000 to fill up my 1983 diesel Subaru Wagon. Then again, it might help the country’s morale, as Twins fans are now the only above-ground Americans who support Dick Cheney’s stealth George W. Bush’s energy policy.

But perhaps an even better idea for the Twins would be to take the money the club’s fans pay for gasoline each day and contribute that to the team’s payroll. Thus, the Twins’ pay scale would be at Yankee/Red Sox levels in no time!